Christmas conjures images of a happy family, from now until the big day we are bombarded with images of this in the media – it is constant.
What if you are alone this Christmas? Not only do you not have your husband or wife but you don’t have your children?
The first thing that you need to know is that you are not alone; 50% of marriages split up and there are often children involved. Either you or your ex has to be without their children on Christmas Eve or Christmas.
When you are newly divorced or separated this can feel like an overwhelming loss. Preparing for Christmas and decorating the Christmas tree is likely to bring with it may a flood of memories of Christmases past.
At times like this it is perfectly normal to ask yourself if the divorce or separation was necessary. Could you have worked through your differences?
What can you do for your own self- preservation to navigate through this incredibly difficult time of year? Plan ahead now and make sure that your children do not see you feeling sad as this is likely to have a harmful impact on their wellbeing.
- Think creatively. You don’t need to have the same traditions you had when you were together. If you are alone it is an opportunity to start over and do what really matters to you.
- Make a plan to call your children at a particular time. Negotiate with your ex regarding what time would be good so as not to interfere with their plans.
- Invite family or friends over for Christmas Eve. The more you focus on being with others the less likely you are to focus on yourself.
- Perhaps plan a short holiday. Taking yourself away from your usual environment can assist with your feelings and add a sense of perspective.
- Allow yourself to do whatever you could not do when the children were with you. Indulge in a warm bath, or stay up and read or watch films into the early hours. Probably for the first time in many years use this as an opportunity to focus on you!
If you are worried about what will happen in terms of the arrangements for the children when you divorce contact us for a free, initial chat on 0161 745 9170 and see what fixed fee packages we have available.